deeper and deeper....

Such a strange feeling... to be back in my "lazy bum" element yet still feeling totally out of it.  I always thought that I'd be so much happier if I could just go back and taste the carefree that is student life, with nothing but school and grades to worry about and long relaxing weekends at home.  This weekend was relaxing indeed, yet it felt strage, and off balance.  It was exactly what I wanted when I was stuck in the ac'ed office, typing away nonsense and collecting paper cuts.  Yet I came out of it feeling deprived.  Was it too relaxing? *laugh*  Or was it the sudden onslaught of events and feelings that caught me off guard and unprepared?  Am I living backward again?  Is it really necessary to discard everything that is the past to live the future?.... No I am not ready yet.  .....

but one thing is for sure... I seriously need to go have a "good talk" with the "good ppl" at Apple about my forever damned iPod.... and come back home and enjoy my "Engine" some more.... :)